A Stroll With My Sunshine

It’s amazing! Isn’t it? So everyone have their own share of love. Whether it is a motherly love or any other love, it is still a share of love. But it’s more overwhelming knowing almost everyone have met this one person in their life who they made them feel complete, loved and who they addressed as their sunshine. Oh yea! But what excites me the most is the fact that we all have a love story to share. Love stories of the stroll we took or have taken so far with our sunshine’. Whether this story saddens our heart, makes us happy, brings us good memory, discourages others or inspires others, they are still the stories made out of our own share of love and they form a vital part of our journey in this world. And you know what? I have my own love story to share. A story I have entitled, “A Stroll With My Sunshine.”

Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear so immediately that the two of you, on some level, belong together; as lovers, as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you are in love or creating things together. You meet these people through your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest of circumstances, and they help you make a life. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something. Something that I never had at a time I needed it the most. Something that I cried for over and over as a toddler. And something that circumstances of my early life distanced me from. Something called Love.
Life was very bitter as a young girl and love was far away from my thoughts. Perhaps the love of God was available but I was too naive and blind to recognize that. A lot happened, so many things that turned the society hostile to my survival and happiness. And you know what, I became bitter, very bitter, that is if I were a leaf, no one will ever chew me and smile. 

As a result, for so long, I’ve kept my feelings inside and I was happy not knowing what it’s like to let them out. I built my walls and they were unbreakable. I saw everyone around me including who I was before get cheated and deceived and decided that I wasn’t going to suffer the same. It’s been like that all my life (until I had my share) and that was okay, it was what I wanted. But then my sunshine came, and at first I refused to give in. But he forced it out of me unknowingly, he forced me to love him and now my heavy heart is letting him take it all. I can’t stop loving him now and that began my love life, my own share of the stories of love.

Who would have ever thought I will one day fall in love? Or I would ever have a love or even friendship relation with anyone? But, I did and I really enjoyed every bit of it. I really enjoyed spending time with him, even if I am just going to be sitting around and be talking about nothing. There are a million things I love about him. I love the way he loved me first and I have the greatest feeling when I make him laugh. His company makes me feel great and I just want to spend the rest of my life with him.

As our relationship grew with my frown and smiles, misunderstandings and understandings, his great love overwhelmed me. I don’t know what it is about him. Maybe it’s the way nothing else matters when I am talking, or how he excites me the way no one ever has. It could also be the way he say the right things at the right time and how he sparked my life with his light. But whatever it is, I just know that it means everything to me. I just know it is how he lightened up my life with his presence. He is my sunshine, my only sunshine. He showed me love that no one else has ever and sometimes I just knew I can’t pay him with what he deserves.

Hours became days and weeks turned into months, then it came to a time like this, a comfortable silence, a matter of I don’t want to but my heart needs to. Time like this that I have to return that wonderful kiss he planted on my lips. That very day as I stood in front of him, my heart was pounding as my stomach refused to sit still. I made my way around the wall and my eyes met his. His arm reached around me for a hug that I wished was for ever. If anything could make me feel safe, it was a hug from him. I always feel complete and moments spent with him are worth keeping in memory forever.

Time passed faster than expected and before I realized, months has become years. Then it also came to a time, the romance and the warmness felt down me.  Little by little, our relationship became more intimate. Yes! Then I came to a point I feel more relaxed, I think more of how much I love talking to him, how good he look when he smile; how much I love him laugh. I day-dream about moments spent with him. Whenever I replay our conversations, I catch myself smiling at the images it brings. He is the best thing that ever happened to me and I will never be tired of saying it over and over again. Did I tell you earlier on that he is my sunshine? Oh yeah! He is my sunshine, my only sunshine. 

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
 “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
You make me happy when skies are gray
Though I betrayed you, you still loved me
You never know dear, how much I love you
You are my sunshine even in the darkest hour
The other  night dear, as I lay sleeping,
I dreamed You held me with comfort
and dismissed my darkness
You are my sunshine.

I cried to him in my darkest hour and he always instills light out of his without hesitations. He is a sunshine that is available at all times – day and night. Though a whole lot of things happened, he is the single most important person in my life. The tears, anger, confusion, fears, but at the same time smiles, laughter, joy and understanding moments also passed by. My trust developed more than before that I put so much confidence in every word that came out of his charming lips. It happened without me knowing how it happened. Yes I believed in Him, his dreams and everything else about him. I believe in his love and lifetime promise of been with me.

I have to admit at the beginning of our stroll, I sometimes felt ashamed to mention his name or where he comes from because of our generation and the current state of affairs. But now, I have come to a point where I am never ashamed or afraid to introduce Him to strangers. I did to friends and nothing changed between me and my lover, the only change is the more I introduce him, the deeper he loves me.  

He comes from a no-class home and he was actually born in a manger.  He doesn’t smoke weed, cocaine or get drunk. He does not dress indecently, neither is he a thief, killer, gangster, club boy, fraud boy and not a play boy either, yet I love him so much. I guess if you are my friend, you would advice I break up with him or even threaten to disown him.  However, let me introduce him to you. I know you will fall in love with him but heyye I am not jealous.  His name is Jesus. He is My Jesus, my one and only, my sunshine.

He knows everything I have ever thought and still don’t cross the street to avoid me when he sees me coming. The blood of his sacrifice speaks a better word than the sweat of my effort, and he shouts it triumphantly. He chased after me when I ran away and he didn’t stop till I was found and tackled. He took my death, even though he had plenty of time to think it over and every reason to say no. he have never leave me and won’t ever me, even when I am most leave-able. Even when he is laughing at me, he is laughing with me. There is no guile in him, no mockery. Even when he calls me on my bull, he doesn’t nag or shame me. He never checks his watch while I am talking to him. He never brings up my old stuffs. While the crowd gathers with their stones on that side, he stands on this side of the line with me. He waits unhurried with me, he doesn’t leave me behind. Though he has every right to be, he is nevertheless not ashamed to call me his sister. My Jesus doesn’t get upset neither is he quick-tempered. He is a forgiver, healer, conqueror, Lord and Savior. He uses the dirt of my sermons to open blind eyes. What a powerful Jesus! He doesn’t erase the records against me; he burns the records book and scatters the ashes to nothing. He doesn’t pass on false reports about me but He is glad to be my eternal advocate. He upholds the universe by word of his power. He just straight-up, no hesitations, no qualifications, no ifs ands or buts – loves me. While many gives me trouble, he gives me rest. All around my soul gives away; he is all my hope and stay. He lives to intercede for me. I can just be myself with Him. He is infinitely rich with grace and a big spender. He makes me like a conqueror but does it without feeding my ego.

Right now pondering over everything so far and introducing him to you, he brought me a refreshment of a glass of beer. Thinking of how far he has brought me, I am lost in His love. I can only sing, and to him, I dedicate this song:

      
You make my life so beautiful! “You make my life so beautiful
And as You are You have made me here on earth 
There is nothing greater than This
That is why I love You forever more
 
I want more of you
I want more of you Jesus
Cause the more I know you
The more I want to know you
Jesus More of You…”